Yesterday was a long day for me. I was up at 4am. Left the house at 5:30am and on my way to a Real Estate Trade Show. Did not return to my home till 7pm.
When I got home, my youngest daughter was watching TV in the kitchen, my husband was watching it in the living room. As I walked through the door, my daughter says "did you hear the news????".
Sadly, I had. Ironically, the featured guest speaker at the conference was a popular local newscaster. I had stepped out of the room when he got up on podium. I was gone briefly but when I returned, his speech was over, and he rushed out. I went to sit in my seat and my mom whispers "did you hear the news?". The newscaster informed the room of the terrible news of the Virginia Tech shootings. SHOCK and GRIEF were apparent on every ones faces.
As life goes, the trade show continued. We attended various classes, connected with others in our field, ate lunch together and visited. But it was still on every ones minds. "Did you hear the news" was a common statement heard throughout the day.
When Columbine happened, I was home. I caught the first 'breaking news' and watching it throughout the entire day and into the next. I was glued to the TV and did little else but watch the footage. I was so connected to it. Same when 9/11 happened. I cried several times and sat in disbelief for both events. I talked on the phone, throughout the day, to others who were home watching it. Or I called and updated those who weren't near televisions.
This tragedy has been different for me. I am still horrified, saddened and upset. But not having "been there" from the beginning, not seeing all the footage as it unfolded has left me a bit detached from it. I don't feel connected to it. Yes, now that I am home; I am watching footage of it. But I don't have that sense of urgency, like I did with the others, to see EVERY PIECE OF FOOTAGE there is.
Please don't misunderstand, I am not saying it is less of a tragedy. But FOR ME, it hasn't been the same. I think it shows how caught up we (me) can get in the news footage of things like this. Now a days, most events like this are shown on every channel, for hours and hours, with different spins, angles, opinions and even falsehoods. We (me) sit for hours glued to the TV...waiting for the next update.
Sometimes I wonder just how beneficial the news footage's, of these events, can really be to the public????? Yet, I will never be the one to turn it off!!!
Regardless, yesterday was a horrible day. I still can't wrap my brain around the fact a person took away THIRTY TWO lives.